Funny Jokes

I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have
to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving
certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a
rubber brick with my pajamas on. --Victoria Wood


I sometimes think that being widowed is God's way of
telling you to come off the Pill. --Victoria Wood



Sexual harassment at work .... is it a problem for the
self-employed? --Victoria Wood

---

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am
living up to my full potential? -- Jane Wagner


All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see
that I should have been more specific. -- Jane Wagner


Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about
myself. --Jane Wagner


The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival
tool. --Jane Wagner

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us,
we're schizophrenic. --Jane Wagner


famous famous quotes quotes quotations quote saying sayings famous sayings funny sayings funny funny quotes humor comedy jokes Famous Quotes