The Ten Most Wanted Men
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to the local police station, where they saw pictures of the 10 Most Wanted men tacked to a bulletin board.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly."
So Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
You know you're out of college when
1. Your salary is less than your tuition.
2. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
3. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.
4. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.
5. 8:00 am is not early.
6. Your friends marry instead of hook-up and divorce instead of break-up.
7. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
8. Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you... and they're no longer "adults" - they are your peers.
9. You go to parties that police don't raid.
10. Half your conversations with current college students start with, "When I was in college..."
Spray-On Breakfast
Batter Blaster Pancakes in an Aerosol CanBatter Blaster â€" carries the USDA "Organic" stamp.
Dog loves his sunglasses
An Alsatian has become something of a local celebrity in a Chinese city for his habit of wearing sunglasses.
Fei Fei's owner says he bought the dog a pair of sunglasses to protect his eyes from the strong sun in Chongqing, Sichuan Province.
He wasn't sure if the dog would take to wearing sunglasses - but to his surprise he loves them so much he won't go out without them.
"I thought that the strong sunshine we get here in the summer time could not be good for his eyes," the dog's owner said.
"But now if I don't put his sunglasses on before we go out, he barks at me non-stop until I do."
Fei Fei now attracts attention wherever he goes - as the coolest dog in the city.
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Funny Truck Accident Joke
A large truck crashed into the water on Martha's Vineyard this week.
It was carrying a massive load of oranges, and it began to careen out of
control down a hill.
The driver, not wanting to damage anyone else's property, drove into the bay
instead.
It's being called the largest navel disaster ever.
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Pastor Fuzz
The Reverend John Fuzz was a pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do. He walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman. "Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Sure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up laying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Here, here buddy, we won't have any of that carrying around in this bar!"
The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz."
The bartender nodded and said, "Hell then, if you're that far in, you might as well finish up."
